We must warn you that we let our copywriter out of his cage and told him to have some fun and the following is the result of that huge mistake…
So please don’t take it too seriously…
(unless of course you want to… I mean you’re grown, I can’t tell you what to do, you got your big boy or girl panties on so get ’em in a twist if that’s what toasts your bagels)!
The Survival and Cross Cable Speed Jump Ropes are:
– Forged from the steel of:
– William Wallace’s Braveheart Broadsword
– Mickey Mantle’s Cleats
– Bruce Lee’s Nunchuks
– Pummeled into shape by:
– Thor’s Hammer
– Captain America’s Shield and
– Iron Man’s… everything!
– Fired to 10,000 degrees by the breath of a Bulldog Dragon that only eats:
– Uranium
– Lava and
– Habanero hot sauce in
– The furnace of a steel mill in a volcano in the center of the earth
– Magically, magnetically and molecularly fused with:
– Blood
– Sweat and
– Tobacco juice from:
– John Wayne
– Clint Eastwood and
– Chuck Norris
– Energized by:
– Thunderstorms
– Tornadoes and
– Taco meat
This ain’t yo’ mama’s jump rope… unless your mama is Rhonda Rousey and then this IS yo’ mama’s jump rope CUZ yo’ mama’s BAD!!!
